Friday, June 21, 2013

The Hardest Thing

One of the hardest things in life is letting someone make a mistake. One of the most necessary things In life is making mistakes.

I am not good at communication. Since I began this blog, since I began writing, and since I began directing it has become apparent to me that my communication skills were lacking. I made mistakes, messed up, didn't say things, or said too much, and I am learning how to better communicate.

But still, for me, one thing I know I am good at is not talking. I know how to hold back my thoughts, filter my emotions, and react to situations with clarity and logic. This might seem like a direct contradiction with my previous blog post about running in to situations, making gut choices, and asking questions later. And it is. Because we humans are amazing creatures. We are able to hold and exhibit two contradictory beliefs at the same time. Think about it. We can both make fun of someone behind their back, and genuinely care about the person to their face. We can condemn someone's beliefs while professing the love of God. We can walk confident and smile and be filled with self-doubt and self-hatred. We can curse and think cursing is wrong. We can be devoutly reliant on current technology and also protest it's "hold" over is. We can be happy and sad at the same time. I can go on, but It's quite amazing when you think about it. The idea if contradiction and being hypocritical is unique to our race of beings.

The hardest thing to do when you care about a person is letting them make mistakes because, as someone who understands the necessity of mistake making, the lesson is too invaluable.

When I tell someone something, and idea or a belief, they can choose to accept it or reject it. And if they accept it, it's acceptance on the terms that it is not an original idea to them, and so ownership to the thought is as invested as one would have towards care and longevity of a rented VHS from Blockbuster. But if I sit back and let them make a mistake and then come to the realization on their own, then the lesson they learned is their own and theirs to own and accept, like finding that DVD you’ve wanted for years in the 5 dollar bin. You cherish that shit.

This is how I direct, this is how I write, and that is how I live because, above all else, I believe independent thought is the most valuable asset we as human beings have. The fact that we can make a decision for ourselves is what makes us special.

Like I said, there are so many things I could say to so many people to "fix" what I believe is wrong in them, but if I do, it solves nothing, and generally the person is not even in a place to understand or accept what I have to say.

So it hurts me to sit back and watch people make mistakes and make wrong choices but I know that, in the end, their mistakes will make them a better person. Maybe they won't be happy, and perhaps they will be miserable their entire lives, but when they make a choice of independent thought it will have been worth it. Our mistakes shape us, but our thoughts define us.

The challenge is to love them in the course of their mistakes. Cherish their friendship while they are hurting. Cherish it as it hurts you and themselves because, honesty, we can't change each other. We can only change ourselves.

Until next time...

"It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all too prudent."
-Vincent Van Gogh

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